Hidden Doors Unlocked

"Secrets are things we give to others to keep for us."
Elbert Hubbard

Bits and pieces.

Yesterday I told a secret that has never crossed my lips, not to a single soul.  It was terrifying, yet a weight was lifted and I feel lighter.  I am a believer in secret keeping, especially one's own, but usually at least one other person knows something that is burrowed in the depths of my soul.  Usually these pieces of my being are not given all to one person to look after, but many of the close people in my life.  I feel like the only time one could uncover my true self is to have everyone I am connected to share all of my secrets to compile a comprehensive record.  No one person has a claim at all of my hidden thoughts, that's dangerous.

But this secret was different.  It was all my own, it was mine to hold and mine to look after.  But it was dark and it was heavy.  I tried to bury it, but it has a way of clawing at my insides.  I tried to forget, but it has a way of blooming to the surface of my consciousness.

I am thankful to have set it free, to have other's help take the load with open arms, to have it dissipate in the air that hung so thick with wounds that night.  Once the words hit my tongue, I let them pour out.  I needed to let go, to admit, to reconcile.

It was the first, and only time, I will ever speak those sorrow laden words.  It was my single moment, my slice of the universe to say what has held heavy on my being.  And now it is gone and someone else can keep it for me, as long as they keep it safe.