The Eels - Fresh Feeling
I have a difficult time feeling content or satisfied for long periods of time. Or even medium amounts of time. I have never really enjoyed extremely permanent fixtures in my life, probably one of the main reasons I will never get a tattoo, and I feel as though I'm always searching for middle ground. How can people be O.K. with just average, mediocre, mundane? Because they think that's what they deserve? Or maybe they don't even know what they want to begin with. I sure as hell don't know what I want, but I do know what average is. I know what average feels like. It feels like nothing, it feels like numb. It feels like purgatory, a limbo between being good enough to succeed and being brave enough to be a fuck up. I am in no way a good or perfect person, I have many severe flaws that cling to me, but I at least owe it to myself to live a slightly above average life, right? Eventually I will stop looking for the fresh feeling, because I will have found a feeling that I can live with for eternity...right? Or am I not supposed to settle...on anything...no matter how good? Are we all supposed to keep moving, exploring, and stretching our limbs? Maybe I'm never supposed to feel content. Maybe contentment is what keeps people from greatness and adventure. It could keep them from being interesting, a full of stories to tell at parties or pages of a journal, from being well-rounded, experienced, flawed in the beautiful human sort of way, and I guess it keeps everyone from growing. I mean...right? Doesn't contentedness by nature...stunt you? You decide to cut yourself off at a certain level because you think this is as good as it gets and you don't feel the need to reach out for more? Pull other elements into your life? If you are truly content, you aren't going to experiment...because you're content with where you are, no need to stir things up, that what content means. So, content is really just a synonym for boring?
I have a difficult time feeling content or satisfied for long periods of time. Or even medium amounts of time. I have never really enjoyed extremely permanent fixtures in my life, probably one of the main reasons I will never get a tattoo, and I feel as though I'm always searching for middle ground. How can people be O.K. with just average, mediocre, mundane? Because they think that's what they deserve? Or maybe they don't even know what they want to begin with. I sure as hell don't know what I want, but I do know what average is. I know what average feels like. It feels like nothing, it feels like numb. It feels like purgatory, a limbo between being good enough to succeed and being brave enough to be a fuck up. I am in no way a good or perfect person, I have many severe flaws that cling to me, but I at least owe it to myself to live a slightly above average life, right? Eventually I will stop looking for the fresh feeling, because I will have found a feeling that I can live with for eternity...right? Or am I not supposed to settle...on anything...no matter how good? Are we all supposed to keep moving, exploring, and stretching our limbs? Maybe I'm never supposed to feel content. Maybe contentment is what keeps people from greatness and adventure. It could keep them from being interesting, a full of stories to tell at parties or pages of a journal, from being well-rounded, experienced, flawed in the beautiful human sort of way, and I guess it keeps everyone from growing. I mean...right? Doesn't contentedness by nature...stunt you? You decide to cut yourself off at a certain level because you think this is as good as it gets and you don't feel the need to reach out for more? Pull other elements into your life? If you are truly content, you aren't going to experiment...because you're content with where you are, no need to stir things up, that what content means. So, content is really just a synonym for boring?
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